So I've been really busy with mb so I'm sorry that I haven't replied to like anything anyones said to me over like the past month. Anyway I'll try and get to that in like 2 weeks, I don't know when I'm going to be on next and I just wanted to say that I might be deleting this account and making a new one but I dont know if I'm going to do that yet or not. Anyway some other news that has happened recently, I broke up with Alex, so we're not gonna be together much anymore I guess, we'll try and talk and stuff and be friends but I dont know how well that'll work out anyway he has some other friends now that probably really don't like me I could name them but I'm not going to. Oh and my sister has mono. I'm playing wonderland online now so if I'm not on here then I might be playing on there so if you want to talk to me and you have a character on wonderland then go to gemini 3 and my characters name is Micaiah, I think that's how I spelled it but yeah...I gotta go so that's all I'll say right now...BYE!!!

So yeah Amy graduated today and I was incredibly bored because we got there like 3 hours early, so I sat there doing nothing...and I'm in an incredibly bad mood today. I think that the time when I was happiest today was when I was talking on the phone, but anyway I was pretty lonely this weekend and I think I will be this week except when I'm at school. then we have band camp starting sunday and that's going to be interesting so yeah not much else to say but I'm updating this cause someone was tired of looking at my journal that I wrote last weekend, so yeah, I'm really crabby and I need to go to bed...

yeah so we had a long weekend, and I basically did nothing. I got my permit Friday afterschool got out, so I've driven twice since then, I'm not so a driver yet...if I'm in the parking lot you should stay away. Then let's see saturday the whole morning I was shopping with my dad for stuff for my sister's graduation...then I started playing Golden Sun again, and that was sorta fun...Besides that I've been on the computer this whole weekend doing nothing, basically because I've been extremely lonely this weekend. Alex wasnt online like at all and when he was online yesterday I think I made him mad or something, it wasn't good though......
so anyway this morning I was at a memorial day parade playing my tenor sax, and I almost dropped it a couple times which really wouldn't of been too good....yeah so I'm getting sorta lonely again but yeah....

For a while I've been really down lately, and I'm trying to feel better. I'm sorta calming down and trying not to really think about much in my life right now that hurts me. You know I've found that I don't really like it when other people get hurt but I don't really care if I get hurt. I'd rather have myself get hurt than someone else. I've been hurting myself more mentally than I have before I mean I have but not this much, I almost cried during school today, which wouldn't of been good...

Anyway enough of that...Schools finally almost over!!!!!!!!!!!! Marching Band is ON! Well, I'm going to try and start writing more, it seems like it's been forever since I've written something, instead of drawing something. Oh yeah, I got my blue card...so I'm gonna take the computer test Friday after school I think if I can get there and then I can start driving YES!!!!! But yeah I'll try and get more stories on here and maybe some poems soon...

Oh yeah and we got our yearbooks today...I need to have everyone sign it tomorrow lol Im being way random today...awesome, oh and if any of you people know some "new slang words" and what they mean could you tell me. I have a extra credit thing with new slang words and unfortunatly Im one of those people who doesnt know any since I don't use slang very much...Sos if you could help me out that'd be wonderful...Thanks.

I've been with Alex 19 months now. He got me some tulips, I really like them. He may be over protective but he's really sweet. But you know no matter how much I wanted it to be a good day, it couldn't be. I got home and was talking to him and he was sad because he says that I don't appreciate him. I do appreciate him though. Sometimes at school though he does stuff that he doesnt necessarily need to do, and he gets I guess you could say sorta mad if I do the stuff that he does for me, like passing up papers, getting books, opening the door, stuff like that, and he doesnt like it that I don't say thanks or anything, sometimes I do, but I'm not use to thanking someone everytime they do something for me. And right now I feel really horrible, I'm mad at myself because I know that I should say thanks to him and stuff because it bugs him, but I forget to a lot of the time. He asked me if I wanted to forgive eachother or to break up, I want us to beable to forgive eachother but I'm afraid of us hurting eachother, we hurt eachother quite often, and it makes both of us sad. He says that I've hurt him but that he wants to move on and forget about it. I know that being sad and getting hurt comes with love but when is it too much? I want to be with him, I dont know what I'd do without him but sometimes it really is too much of us hurting eachother. I want to stay with him and I know that he'll stay with me, I'm afraid of what would happen to us if we were to break up...